Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Update on Pat

Erin reminded me (here) that I haven't shared the latest news on Pat! First I did as Mom suggested and took her some nice soup. Actually, chili. Which I had to lie about to get her to accept: "Pat! Please help me! I was expecting guests, made a ton of chili, freezer's full and husband's about to go on a business trip. Won't you please take some??" Most parts of that were true! So, not really lying. Entirely. And she took the chili, and ate it. For which I was grateful. I sneaked in some cornbread too. What's chili without cornbread?

Then through some very strong arm-twisting, I talked her into letting me order groceries for her online. Just once! If it doesn't work we never have to do it again! I promise! It worked like a charm and the food came exactly as promised. Except they forgot her six-pack of Negro Modelo, but she got over that pretty quickly. Hooray! She spent the next couple of weeks cooking and eating to her heart's content. And here's the best part: Today we placed her second order. For about $200 worth of groceries. I couldn't be more thrilled and she's obviously feeling better. Sometimes stuff works out. Sometimes the stubborn prevail.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Inlaws: Gotta Love 'Em

Last week we took a trip Up North to visit the family of my husband's birth. They are an interesting crew. "Interesting" being, as you know, one of those words that can disguise one's true feelings. Or not. You won't catch me telling you.

We ate, we swam, we watched gigantic explosions over the water in a very fancy boat that belongs to his niece. This niece is doing quite well, if the boat and very fancy house with the pool are any indication. She has a personal psychic. Seriously. The psychic is on her payroll. So Niece is telling us both about what the psychic's been saying about Niece's life situation. Turns out psychic believes there's a vortex to another dimension in Niece's fabulous (and fabulously mortgaged) new home. This vortex can apparently be a Good Vortex or a Bad Vortex, depending upon a whole bunch of factors I neither understand nor want to try to remember. Right now, it's bad. It's causing chaos and unhappiness in Niece's home life.

Then Mr. Gosling asks (and this is a perfect example of why I love the hell out of this guy), "So. How much will she charge you to get this vortex out of your house?"

We can't stop laughing about that question. I'm going to say "vortex" to him right now and watch him try to keep from peeing himself.