It seems that what is at work here is another case in which women are from Venus and men are from the mysterious, dark side of the moon.
"There is a code that men live by," says family therapist Tracey Gersten, a woman. "Women may not know about it, or they may pooh-pooh it, but it is very real. I think if you put a group of men in a room, they'd have no trouble putting a man code together."
"The betrayal is the big thing," said Colin Hussey, 44, who was among those who wrote me. "Good God, this is your loyal ally. It is that sense of honor. It's like the samurai or even the mafia."
Baffled, without a Tracey Gersten (woman!) around to ask for help, I asked Mr. Spouse what all this means. He swaggered a little and did his best to imitate a Regular Guy™.
"It's like this: We men have to be able to trust that our property isn't going to be defiled when we loan it out for other purposes."
It's so helpful, having a translator around the house.